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Accept no excuses from yourself.

January 20, 2017

This week, I have had some trouble with exercise. It is not for a lack of trying, and I am not about excuses. When you try to get out of something, that is when you make excuses. When you try hide behind the veil of pleasing others and seeking their approval, that leads to excuses. I think for much of my life I have spent too much time and energy making excuses for one thing or another. One cannot simply live in the past and expect a successful future. I am learning to look forward. Our past exists to remind us where we have come from, and where we are going. It is a reminder for me to not make the same mistakes over and over again, and to learn how to have strength in the moments when I just want to give up. This week it was about learning to experience grace.

Weight loss has been a challenge for me because I am in my forties, and my metabolism is not the same as when I was in my twenties. I have learned that sometimes there are obstacles that inhibit weight loss and even contribute to weight gain. In my twenties, I ate like there was no end in sight. Also, I was an active runner, and swimmer, things I am no longer able to do, due to an injury I sustained in my early thirties. It sucks. It discourages me. I feel pain at variable levels every day, and sometimes the pain medications do not help, and there are days where I am immobile. It makes me want to give up, and it also makes me all the more resilient, and determined to not give up. I have heard it said that, “just because you have a bad day, it does not mean you have a bad life.” It speaks volumes to me, and allows me to get up and dust off my knees. I am learning that it is okay to ask for help when I need it. I need it often, just as much as I need grace to carry on.

My Thursday was not a great day, and I was running on fumes almost all day. I could not sleep on Wednesday night, and the restlessness carried on in to Thursday, leaving me one emotional ball of cabbage. When you have had only four hours of sleep, you won’t find that you are your normal self either. Even as I am writing this blog, I am exhausted, and I cannot sleep yet. I did walk a lot during the day, and I might have overextended myself by eating much more that I am used to during the day. I know I did not have caffeine because I have had to eliminate that from my lifestyle.

One thing I know that helps me in moments like this, where I am thinking, “Can I do this? Can I ever lose this weight?” It is moment where I must be honest with myself and say, “I am struggling, and I will conquer this troublesome thinking.” It is the first step for me accepting that I can and will overcome the doubts that continually try to knock me down. I have learned that I must be still, and remember to breath and exhale, letting go of the day. I was always taught that we shouldn’t worry about tomorrow because, each new day has trouble of its own. And that is the honest truth. Rest your mind. Relax your body. Calm your spirit. Think about good things, and close your eyes. Tomorrow begins anew.

I will let you know how Friday goes.

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6 Comments
  1. TheStubbornGirl permalink

    wanting to run and not being able to is so frustrating! i have peroneal tendonitis and it sucks! it has slowed my weight loss efforts and i feel so helpless ssometimes.. good luck. i hope the best for you.
    !

    • I have been learning to find alternative means of exercise. I especially like using resistance bands for stretching and light muscle workouts. Additionally, I am exploring cardio workouts I can do from my room. I like to walk in place while I mute the TV and listen to some music I find uplifting. We are our own worst enemies. I think when we think we can no longer do something, that is when we fall down. Have you ever heard the phrase, “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down” ? When I grew up, there was a toy called Weeble Wobbles. The point is, we cannot let life shake us up more than we allow it. We can find our balance through encouraging one another. I hope you will be encouraged. -Kirk

      • TheStubbornGirl permalink

        Thank you. I have been walking daily but even walking fast hurts my leg.. hope it gets better soon! Good luck with your endeavours too!🤗

  2. I’m right here with you! I’m 41 and trying to lose this last 20 pounds. Today is the first day I’m giving up my major addictions…. coffee creamer and sunflower seeds. I may still occasionally have sunflower seeds, but these two things have been almost my ENTIRE diet this year!! I kid you not…. 8 cups of over creamed coffee = 800 calories and 2 bags of sunflower seeds = 730 calories. You do the math – there’s not much room left for real food!! Nonetheless I’ve been exercising. That’s always been the easy part for me. The diet is my challenge.

    • Rootbeer is my Kryptonite. I am learning to ween off things and give myself a limit on foods I like such as cheese and potato chips. Since I don’t really know how to eat healthy, my goal this year is to spend time at local markets learning to shop from the outer perimeter first. My grandmother always did this, and she has lived to be 98 so far. If I can learn to choose foods with that are not processed, and go organic I know I will be one step closer to living and feeling better. At 47, I want to live a happier and healthier life.
      How long have you been walking dogs?

      • I’ve started walking dogs in 2001. I was 250 pounds back then. It was pretty rough. It’s easier now. Of all the things you listed, Rootbeer is the one that will ruin an otherwise good diet. Even in moderation, sugar turns everything else to crap. I try really hard not to eat anything with more than 5g of sugar per serving – and then only once or twice a day. Also if you eat your sugary stuff (even fruit) by itself, it will do cause you less trouble. That said, a “little” of what you like will do your heart good. What I ultimately gave up was sugar, dairy and bread. Occasionally I’ll have one of those things, and I feel like garbage all day. My body just doesn’t like it. Your grandmother is a wise woman. I hope you live as long and healthy as she has.

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